its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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