jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We left the knife in your bed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
