Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
