How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
