this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
