Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
