he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
