Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
