my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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