I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
