I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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