Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize