Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wear drunk well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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