Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
