i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize