Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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