we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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