Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize