Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
