please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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