You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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