Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
