i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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