sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
