A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
