i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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