He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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