the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
