It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
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it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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