So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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