i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
