Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
