I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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