so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize