Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
