Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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