so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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