the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
