Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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