Can i not drive my cunt home
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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