i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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