She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
