my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
