As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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