1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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