TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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