We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
