I puked a lego.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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