is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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