i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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