one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
