i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize