After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
