So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
