Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
