I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
