Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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